Ohm...

Once in awhile i get the feeling that life takes pleasure in screwing me over. Sure, i understand that life is unfair, but there are some days when i wonder if it has to be this unfair.

Life also used to be a lot simpler when i was a kid. For every measure of effort i invested, i got the anticipated amount of return. Occasionally there will be some curve balls and disappointments but never anything major that i couldn't deal with.

All that until i entered uni.

Other than waking me up from the idealistic illusions of reality, it taught me that hard work is not always proportional to returns, that no matter how good i think i am there are always tonnes of other people better than me, it taught me humility, it exposed me to new levels of frustration and futility, it showed me how there are people who will do anything to get ahead, and that it doesn't always pay to be good.

Bitter? Hell yeah. Unfairness is something that ruffles my feathers. (Probably remnants of an internalised form of sibling rivalry).

The only good i got out of all that, is learning to find contentment from what i already possess and not what i covet. Some people call this settling for less. Perhaps that is true. But what is the point of forever chasing after something that is always just slightly beyond reach? Especially if it means i can't take pleasure in the here and now?

So once again, i shall try to let go of my grievances and gripes about the world (although i'm still pretty miffed about it at the moment) and try to be content.