Attracted to him...

What is law of attraction? Is there actally a law of attraction that exists? Some say different personalities are attracted to each other while some beg to differ. I am really clueless but one thing for sure is I am attracted to him right now...

He studies in the same Thai class as me and is of same age as me. Ashamed to say that I did not manage to catch his full name as we only know him by his surname in class. A medium-build guy who is far from the definition of metrosexual. Although the teacher commented that he is handsome, I think that it is not so much about handsome but there is some kind of charm in him.

I am attracted to his smile and laughter.

I am attracted to the shy glances we exchange when helping him out in class participation.

He is like a mystery but alas I pick up my courage and talk to him after class today. Attempted to ask for his name but still did not manage to catch it. Damn! He studied overseas though I have yet to find out which university. There are so many questions oozing out of my mind just when the traffic light turn green and we've reached our parting place.

So I said cya next week and he bid farewell too. Just when I was crossing the road, he said: YY right? And I looked back to acknowledge, exchanged smiles and continued on my journey.

It's feels like the whole world has come to a standstill where it belongs to just him and me. Will there be continuation between us? I hope this is just the beginning...

First weekend without him...

Though its the first weekend without him (for those who have been a faithful follower of Laiying love saga should have guessed his identity by now), it wasn't that bad... Would still think of him and wondering how is he at Indonesia. Hmm sometimes I dunno if I am envy of him travelling alone or taking pity at how lonely he is.

Anyway, enough said about him for Lai is trying to kick the habit of seeing him and hanging out with him. Wanted to try to be cool and pretend nothing has happened but I'm just weak and my heart gives in easily.

Back to my weekend... Went shopping with mum and realised it can be a very tiring task. Was totally drained after 5 hrs of shopping. Not forgetting a big hole being burnt at the end of the day. Then I realised how unfillial I have been for not spending enough time with her. Anyhow, I've managed to buy about $100 worth of books and magazines and feel damn happy and good about it =) But that also means I am seeking comfort in books and solitude.

Then I went to a farewell BBQ at a newly completed condominium at Parkway Parade that area. Jiin... its damn nice place. How I wish I can buy one unit and live there! The BBQ was a nice get-tgt and discovery... Discovered that my colleague from the same company but different department might be having a crush on me. *ego swelling* Cos he was flirting with me damn openly. Like feeding me food, sitting damn close tgt to take photos etc.

Sunday was a maid hunting day with my friend... lots of juicy drama happening at the maid agency within a short span of 4 hrs. Pretty much entertained. And at night its a 2-movie marathon. Watched Chipmunk and The Enchanted... nice movies. How I wish he could ask me out for movie before he returns or a romantic night out again! K.. stop it Lai!

PS. Yup Jiin... I understand about advice giving this kinda thing. Most of time, its just seeking reassurance for an answer that I already knew.

Episode 6

Its a sunny day at Batam for cable-sking. Hmm but more aptly put, its knee-boarding (i.e. kneeling on my knees on a board and pulled by the cable). Tried to cable ski but failed to stand up. And oh man... 2 rounds of knee boarding which is 4 minutes in total is a freaking tone-up session for the arms. My arms are still wobbling slightly and I even have difficulty wearing my pants. Shagged!

Its Episode 6 because Tadashi is involved :) Kinda like the first group outing we had. The previous ones are always just the 2 of us which I pretty much enjoyed the attention and proximity. Not a bad experience I must say though initially its always me trying to hang around him more often. Had some tinge of jealousy cos his time was divided among different people... but I guess its not really jealousy per se as I was already expecting this situation. Hmm... I think it ultimately boils down with not having a chance to discuss our replacement trip (if any). Yah.. I am still feeling very upset about the stillborn Bhutan trip. The angel me will try to comfort myself by saying if there's not replacement trip, I could always make a visit to Japan instead and just spend some time with him. That is provided if our status is confirmed kind. The devil me will try to manage expectations by saying he is simply not interested in you and your trip.

So I am slightly concerned about the ambiguity between the 2 of us. Are we just good friends cum colleagues or more than good friends? This reminds me of my team manager dating experience with her then bf and now husband. She got so fed up after several mths of dating I guess that she just asked him directly about their relationship. After some analysis, I believe we are more than just friends.

Sign 1: We have been hanging out quite frequently with each other. At least we have been seeing each other for about 4 weekends.

Sign 2: Japanese are known to keep their distances when interacting with people. But this has being diminishing between us. Oh yah so this brings me to a gossip which my team had during one lunch. Its like for some couples, you can tell they are an item from the way they hang around each other... be it walking tgt with or without holding hands. Hmm.. so my team was gossiping that my VP and her husband appear so distant. Its as if they were just mere colleagues going out for lunch tgt.

Sign 3: We share quite a fair bit about our families and those things which we would normally feel uncomfortable to share with others. Haha but oh well... it could just be me being the kpoh one and keep probing.

Sign 4: We've talked about our criteria for partners and shared our love history. Hmmm... however this might not be an accurate indicator that we are more than just friends. This is because the damn cute guy also just share this things without inhibition during our first lunch date! Frankly speaking, I don't mind talking about criteria but as for love history... that's a bit too private.

Some observations about him today which might be discouraging towards the proposition that we are more than friends... I realised I have been showering him with more concern than he is towards me. And I think he gets pretty focused while playing. So I just see him keep queuing up to try cable skiing, fell down into water and then queued up again without coming by to ask you how's your experience so far etc. And yah if he wants to avoid certain question, he always pretend he don't understand. Can u imagine I was joking with him if those scars are lovebites, he went: what's lovebite? For a moment I thought he really dunno lor. But I like the way he loosens up and dare to play more with me like poking me when I poked him. Keke...

Episode 5

Kungfu Panda is a FANTASTIC film. Seriously, it has been a long time since I am so entertained by a movie. Its DEAD FUNNY. So we sat in the couple seat but nothing exciting happens cos it is a funny movie. I wish it was those romantic kind but oh well... I'm sure there will be plenty of chance.

Hmm... we didn't go for the tree top walk as there's no time to spare but we had a nice walk at the Fort Canning Hill. It has been ages since I went there. And finally, I've managed to visit the Registry of Marriage. Hehe nothing wonderful about the building but its the significance of that building that wow you. Somehow for some reason... I just get the vibe that he is very interested in me to the extent that we might end up married! Sweet right? Maybe its because he has asked quite a fair bit about ROM.

A nice talk at FCH and yeah he got bitten by mosquitoes. Loving him now cos that means when we do travel next time, I will be spared from mosquitoes. LOL. I know I am mean... Got to know more about him and his past love history. Felt sorry for him for his last encounter as the girl ditched him for another guy. And discovered he is quite a romantic guy. At least he gave flowers to gf on special occasion. Hint hint MAOA... if you hadn't done that before... its time for you to action upon it. *in a threatening voice+stare*

But I suspect he gave it away cos he was saying not sure where to get flowers in Singapore. Then when I told him there is one at our workplace building... he commented it was too far from the place he wanna give the flowers to. So I asked where is the place, his answer was like near the restaurant where he is going to ask her out for birthday celebration. Praying hard its me now else I will be freaking disappointed. Then on way home, he actually asked me what flowers I like! *swinging from side to side indulging in happiness* Always loved lilies cos of their smell but they don't make a good bouquet as they wilt fast. Next would be sunflowers bah. Rose is like too common.

What flowers do you like Jiin? Ok and I shall drop Vanuatu from list there. Gulp.. me also discovered he is very interested in Africa that continent. Wondering if I am that exotic enough... Oh yah, both of us agree Maldives is the ideal honeymoon destination! And Jiin... I am thinking shall we go to Japan next year in March or something? We'll visit him and the 4 of us can go travel together with him being the guide? Good idea?? Looking forward to cherry blossoms and hotsprings!

Where Should I Go?

Have just sent out the damn depressing email today to cancel our original trip. Did tell the agent to keep us informed of additional flights but not holding on too much hope. And hell... cos one colleague saw my workplace msn with him about cancelling the trip.. she asked out loud. Now everyone knows my trip is blown up. I hope this would shut all their mouth regarding Tadashi and me. And we shall secretly plan an alternative trip!

Lesson #1: Transparency at workplace never works.
Be it asking everyone if they are interested in a trip and end up with just a single guy... there are bound to be rumours. Be it you make a mistake at work and admitting its yours... the boss is sure to mark you down. So yah... sometimes honesty just doesn't pay.

Anyway, so where should I go if I am not going for Bhutan this year? Come on... just throw in your fantasy and wish Jiin. Hmm... I am thinking of Mongolia, Mauritius, Egypt or even Vanuatu :) All I need is some secluded place where I could lie down and see stars!

Btw a little update on me: I am coughing until my lungs are almost dropping out! Pls give me some prescription Dr Jiin. Oh yah... I think I am going to visit a dermatalogist soon for my consistence outbreak on my forehead. It has reached a point of inflicting emotional distress on my psychological being. Do you think a dermatologist will help though I am suspecting the root cause is my hormonal imbalance caused by my mum?

Send my regards to my beloved penang laksa cook! Ask her to get well soon cos I wanna visit her to eat her laksa. Muahaha... what kind of care and concern I am showing right? But never mind lah... ultimate goal is that she gets well. Hohoho...

A mini prelude to Episode 5... Will be going for tree top walk at MacRitchie though I am not very keen on at this point of time as we have a movie to catch at 4pm and he is not free in the morning to do the walk! Hmm.. and I don't really think he is gonna to stay leh Jiin... He will be going back to Tokyo in August. The only other plausible reason I can think of is he sees potential in developing with me further, at least till next year.

The Empire Strikes Back!

Lai, do you know what postponing to next year means? It means he's planning to stay on for a much longer time!

Looks like your dream of relocating to Tokyo is actually not that superfluous afterall.

Wait. I shouldn't have said that. Now you're just going to drift off into the next galaxy. *Doink* Just make sure that when the saga ends you're not re-entering the atmosphere at too great a velocity because i can't guarantee to soften your crash landing ;)

On other news, the Genial one with silver white hair has been worrying me. Especially since she started having multiple episodes of emesis over a period of a week. When she finally got to see a GP at the General Hospital, the useless Dr didn't even take a proper history and do a bloody abdo exam before clearing her for surgery and referring her to ENT.

I have lost faith in the public health system in Malaysia. Let's hope the orthopaedic surgeons are 10 times more competent that that silly GP.

*Mosaic kakera hitotsu hitotsu tsunagi awasete egaite yuku...*

Episode 4

Lol. Jiin... I should be the one kowtowing you for coming up with the whimsical category called lai's love saga. So as not to disappoint you... I am updating you with Episode 4 of the love saga! HAHAHA.

And so Tadashi is confirmed for his conference at Kyoto. To make my stomach turn upside down, he was freaking busy for the whole day and I am down with flu which means more uncertainty met with no reply plus annoyance. Good thing is we managed to do dinner together at around 9pm despite a busy end of day for me. For the first time I scolded the all-encompassing f word at my work place after a phone call to a damn attitude broker. Anyway back to the wonderful development of the love saga.

Had dinner at Ding Tai Fung with the lovely xiao long bao. Jiin... can you pls stop drooling or else your lappie will spoil. Kekeke... He followed up with me on our date on Sat! That's milestone number 3! Of course guru Lai dropped more hints along the way regarding her birthday in July and her graduation ceremony as well in which he can't attend both due to prior commitments. Hehe got a promise from him (a willing one of course) to have a post mini birthday celebration with me. Being not a save light lamp (translate that to Chinese), I also requested for a BIG present. Muahahaha...

Oh yah back to the trip update again... he actually mentioned if we could postpone it to next year. Gasp! Jiin... you understand my shock right? Yah cos both of us didn't want to miss the local festival which is highly possible given his current restriction. So our next step is to plan for alternative country to travel to if (touch wood) that we really can't go to Bhutan this year. Hmm.. come to think about it... its actually advantageous to me as I will be able to invest my money then =) Grow money grow!

For more exciting developments of Lai's love saga, stay tune... *wink*

By the way, I am not in outer space yet so don't call me back to Earth. This is just episode 4 you know? Call me when the season finale is out. LOL.

The sun shines out of his bum...

I think the 'everything happens for a reason' opinion is slightly too optimistic for me to stomach at the moment (only because i'm stressed). It also hints at the presence of a higher power. That it was fate that determined our destiny and not our conscious decisions. As an atheist... it's not particularly appealing to me.

Although, as you should know Lai, if i had to pick a religion i'd go with Buddhism. No holy wars for me thank you very much.

Lai, i think you've mastered the art of chasing a guy and then making the guy chase you back instead. *Kowtow*

Are you out of earth's orbit again? Do you need me to send some homing signals to bring you back down to earth? *Snigger*

Everything Happens for A Reason

Well said Jiin! Glad that you know who you are. Don't worry about what you want to do next time. I guess nature will take its course somehow. And I like my friend's thinking which coincides with mine too: everything happens for a reason.

True indeed, had I not taken up the job with my current bank, I would not have known Tadashi. Have you not flown to the land of kangeroos for studies, you would not have known MOAO and fall happily in love with him. So... everything happens for a reason and just take life easily. I think I am doing that pretty well recently.

Dear Aunt Agony, my playing cool pays off man. Yeah yeah. When I went to office this morning, I found his instant msg. First time he has ever initiated a msg. Ok that's milestone number 1. So our conversation went about me having to work till 10ish pm today with no one to have dinner with. Unfortunately he has an appointment with his golf friend for the night. It continues with me dropping more hints such as asking if he had watched Kungfu Panda. Nah there's no need for envy, I'm just good at dropping hints. Soon milestone number 2 happened after I've told him its quite a nice show! He actually said: good next time we shall watch it. Hmm.. that seems to be initiating a date right? *smirk*

It really brightens up my day and lifted my mood. So thereafter I stop playing cool and asking when are we watching the movie. Sadly, he was overwhelmed by work today and didnt really talk to me via instant messaging for the remaining of the day. Argh damn annoying that beautiful things have to have a bit of glitches. To make things worst, he told me at the end of day to hold on to the payment of airfare for our Bhutan trip as he was told that morning that there is going to be some kind of global conference at Kyoto. Haiz.. dunno whether to show him face color or not after all the hard work of liasing with the agency. The trip is so near yet so far....

Now, my heart is kept in suspense as the following might happen:

1. We manage to get flights on his most preferred dates which is after his conference and in time for the local festival. Sweet happy ending.

2. He don't need to attend the conference and trip resumes. But I'm scared that its a detriment to his career development. Keke... slowing thinking in the capacity of his lover. LOL. Jiin must be thinking: can someone pls slap Lai and wake her up.

3. We will miss the local festival and only get to do trekking after his conference. I still prefer the first 2 options though.

4. We will totally miss the whole trip! If that's the case, I am afraid my face will turn and not just change color.

Thank you Aunt Agony. Your thoughts are exactly mine though I've tried out my colleague's suggestiong to play cool and it works. Hmmm... wondering when will he hold my hands??

I am...

In answer to your question of all questions "Who are you?", i have been pondering this for eons and i have this to answer...

I am...

... a good daughter to loving parents. Not the perfect one, but just good enough, and i'm trying to get better at it.

... a rather disappointing sister. On this front i hope that the future brings change.

... in love with MOAO, without whom life would be less colourful.

... still unsure of what i want to be when i grow up and am currently searching for the solution. Hopefully that will no longer be the case when i turn 30.

... the best kind of friend anyone can ever ask for! Just ask Lai ;)

... enraptured by make believe worlds of others and often turn to them in order to escape from reality.

... a feminist, a socialist and a realist (can i really claim that when i love fantasy books and animes so much?)

... a rather stingy person because this is what i did yesterday:

My hair has been growing long, in particular my fringe has been annoying me immensely. So i decided that i shall trim it myself, since i'm returning to malaysia soon and it will be so much cheaper to get a hair cut there. 15 minutes later... lo and behold the disaster i've created. It's now shorter than i want it to be, jagged, uneven and unamenable to the way i want to style it. So much so that i've gone into damage control mode and decided to wear a head band to hide the monstrosity i've inflicted on myself.

Hopefully it will grow very quickly within the next 2 weeks before i have to front up to my job interviews. *O kami sama... tasukette kudasai!*

*Erhem... Switching to Aunt Agony mode*

Dear Lai,

i suggest that you take the initiative in asking him out. If he doesn't reject you, it means he doesn't mind spending time with you. Perhaps eventually he'll take turns to ask you out too? Besides, since he's reserved, if you wait for him to take the initiative, it might not come to pass before he returns to Tokyo.

Yours Truly,
Jiin

*ROFL*

Who Are You - A "Little" Woman Seeking for Love & Happiness

Just came back from a gathering with my uni mates. Its disheartening looking at how disoriented one of my uni mates, Joshua is. Idling around aimlessly after graduation with no urgency to look for job. I'm not saying that getting a job is the only and most important thing. Of course he could always choose to travel the world if he is loaded, but sadly he is not. So its a bread vs erm nothing, not even love, scenario for him.

Then we have came to the conclusion that he don't even know his own identity. The million dollar question: who are you? I had some thoughts about it and an answer just dawn on me. I am a "little" woman looking for love and happiness. I don't need to be very rich, just sufficient to support my travelling with my partner and some to spare for my greedy mum. Jiin, so who are you? Have you ever thought about that?

With potential love and happiness in sight, I realised I am pretty happy recently. Except today as I am facing Irene-withdrawal syndrome. Irene is my dear colleague who has resigned. I'm so happy as I have regained my passion for travelling and astronomy. Or maybe its the other way round. I've never figured which is the egg and which is the chicken. But in anyway, I'm just overjoyed that I've been resurrected! Its great to have some goals to look forward to and the passion to reach for them. I'm not sure if this passion will continue on when Tadashi returns to Tokyo then or not. Perhaps his absence would be a test to my "feelings". I realised I have a tendency to fall in too quickly and before I knew it, I'm out of it only then to realise at much later that he is really not that important to me. Sad right?

Hmm.. wondering if there will ever be a day that Tadashi chance upon this. Ok being hua1 chi1 and seeking advice from Jiin... do you think I should continue to take initiative to ask him out or wait for him to ask me out? Challenging problem is that he is a Japanese, meaning he is shy and reserved. Dear Aunt Jiin... pls advise the little confused girl, Lai. Hahaha...

Minor Things So Far

Finally got to take a day of leave to myself and sitting leisurely in front of my half-dying laptop blogging away. Man... it has been a long time since I've last blogged but hey that doesn't mean I didn't keep up with your happenings, Jiin.

Some little updates about me...

1. A few weeks ago was verbally being offered a permanent position at my workplace. So now praying there will be pay increment. But annoying HR has yet to get back to me! Worst of all, my colleague who is working closely with me on daily tasks has tendered and this Friday will be her last day. To make things worse, the cutest trader (relatively, of course) has resigned last week! He is the one who can speak a bit of Thai and the nicest among the other traders I must say.

2. Love is in the air.... or maybe just in my head. Keke. Finding myself attracted to this Jap guy, Tadashi. And daring me actually invited him to go to Bhutan together this coming October. Ok, I must defend myself a bit just in case I've painted myself as a big wolf preying on some harmless little creature. Hmm.. though he is 180 cm and many guys have praised that he looks handsome!! Anyway, reason for inviting him was that he likes to travel and had travelled to alot of exotic places on his own. Backed with the excuse, oops I mean valid reason, of planning for the trip, I have volunteered my service to bring him to places he hasn't been to in Singapore. Amazingly he is more Singaporean than me and has visited places like Arab Street which I haven't been to.

And so last Wed night, I brought him to Mt Faber and we enjoyed this romantic candlelight dinner under the moonlight. We had this red wine called Little Demon. Yah damn funny I know. Anyhow, I almost melted and evaporated into the air man. The ambience was so good that I really wished he was my bf then. Expensive bill though but he just signed his card without a blink! Hint hint.. you should show this to MAOA! *flashing my big grin*

Then we "dated" again on Sat. More like I brought him to Toa Payoh to find a 2nd hand hp and a eating trip from Toa Payoh to Jalan Kayu and then Chomp Chomp. I'm not sure if its just me or the both of us but I'm feeling the special inkling... Bad thing is he is quite skinny though and he needs a fashion consultant. =p


3. Watched Sex and the City last Friday. It's very nice and sweet and surprisingly touching. Damn thing was it has been censored till M18 in Singapore. WTH! Advice from me is watch it with your partner. At some part, I really feel like hugging my partner, if any. Oh yah... and I am looking forward to Kungfu Panda. Looks damn spastic and funny! Its from Dreamworks!

4. Will be signing up for Jap class tomorrow =) My motivation is you, Jiin.... Keke.