The truth behind it..

5 lacerations in a day - Sweet time to do and not think or talk.

Cannulating a baby who did not scream or cry - New procedural skill acquired; level up baby tricking skills.

Mesmerising every kid under 5 years and adults over 40 years with flashing oinking keychain piggy - Best investment in equipment ever; the power to control minds... muahahaha.

Favourite drug prescribed: Ketorolac - Jabbing undeserving patients and giving more pain than they originally presented with.

Blowing small vein on back of hand and sticking the 18 gauge cannula conveniently lying around into cubital fossa in a needle phobic patient moaning, groaning, rolling around on the floor complaining of 10/10 abdo pain. Ripping off sticky tape and tegaderm from extremely hairy arm when removing cannula. - Take that you malingering drama queen of a wuss; free waxing service with compliments from yours truly.

Telling patient who complained of "blacking out" while lying in bed but "didn't fall asleep, oh i don't know what happened" and insisted on having blood tests done because she was "anaemic" with Hb of 140 a month ago that if her brainless GP who sent her to ED thinks she needs bloods, he can do it himself - Cathartic release of frustration and finally having enough guts and experience at picking out phonies to tell them to get the f*** out of my ED in civilised words.

Picking out vertebral compression fracture verified later by radiologist when supervisor dismissed it. - I knew you didn't know what you were doing all along dumbass.