Mixed Bag of Emotions

Happy 2008 to all! Same as Jiin, I don't feel any difference with the dawn of new year. Neither am I particularly excited though I know I have to start finding work and start work. Just received another rejection letter from a bank. Slight disappointment though as I've thought this position would be easier to get but I guess I am not kiasu enough then to send in my application early. So I deserve it. Then again it just means I am not fated with this company and we will see what the divine force has for me.

Went back to St Nicks, my secondary school a few days ago. I missed the food there the most. There are many new faces among the teachers but managed to catch up with a few old ones who had taught me. Had a long chat with Janice about the divine force up there and do you realised we all coined it differently? For christians, its God and for muslims, its Alah. Took some photos and I must thank her for getting me to start thinking about my life. Its true that we have all been so busy with the daily mechanics routine to the extent that we just lived by our lives without giving it much thought.

Anyway, just came back from a church wedding of an ex-colleague of mine. And damn, I didn't bring a damn cute guy along to show off to idiotic J. Instead, just as I was about to forget about J, he smsed again wishing happy new year. Then all the buried memories just poured back along with some acidic juices. Oh well, it just means I should have dugged a deeper hole. He is still the same, offering to go on dates and picking me up plus sending home. Same old tricks I must say and dangerous to fall I must admit so distance I must keep. I think I have done well so far, getting a ride to the church and that's it. Rejected his date to go out on afternoon though he blatantly lied that he cancelled his tuition for me. *roll my eyes* Its one of those sweet talk thing which the truth content is zero. Its just a wierd bag of mixed emotions I am feeling now... spaced out, tired, sad, happy, envy etc.

Don't really feel like going for wedding dinner tonight. The church wedding experience wasn't too good. Maybe because not many people I know off are there and worst still when J kept his distance. It's kinda like double whammy. What the heck. Ok off I go for tuition now.