Start of a new beginning and maybe ending

Hello to all.. and the latest announcement is that I got a job. Not my dream job but I'm doing fine. Get to start work at 10am and knocked off rightfully at 7pm, though at bad days its 8pm. Its still pretty alright. The great thing is the job satisfies my learning curve and the team is nice. Very blessed I must say. I've come to my senses that every job gets mundane and routine after some time and its the environment such as your co-workers that keep you moving.

Hmm... life has been rather bland... and loneliness is crawling beneath my skin. Its getting so bad that I am actually desperately hoping for a bf. And desperation is no good as seen from the below encounter that I wish I could dig a hole as deep as the earth and just bury myself for good.

The gist is that things got pretty steamy between my "shi-fu" and I while we were clubbing at St James the last Friday. He wasn't drinking much as he drove and I was highly intoxicated as driven by boredom and seeking for some quick solution to get high. And things only began to get steamy after this other guy left. Moral of story: 3 is always a crowd. Anyway, I was literally hanging myself on shifu towards the end of the clubbing. He offered help and so I took it. Jiin, I know you are going to scold me after you read the following. Soon his hands were all over my back and hugged my damn tightly to which I think I felt a bulge somewhere... Sigh but the hugging is just so nice and addictive and so I let myself endulged in this crazy night. By the time we got out of the club, I didn't even know if the other 2 ex-colleagues who had joined us in between left already or not. FYI, he was holding my hand in the cross-finger manner which I would normally expect only couples to do it when we were walking out of the club.

And so... gathering from past evidences of strong sexual tension between us and the night's intimacy, I thought he might be interested in me too. I dropped him a msg thanking him for the ride home and the night and asked him shall we date. Guess what the answer was? "I'm really sorry. Just now, was all lust" Ouch.. I know... that hurts. It hurts so bad that I'm even blogging about it. Its just my karma for rejecting the other guys before, I guessed. In retrospect, I think desperation has jeopardised a friendship. Oh well... part and parcel of life and the raging hormones. Jiin, do reply me on your thoughts via email.