I wonder...

I wonder if I am emotionally ready for a relationship...

I thought I have grown up for now I don't feel the rush to get into a relationship but let nature takes its course. BUT, I find myself entering into the emotionally unstable state. My mind starts playing games with me and once again, I'm riding on something called the mood swing. I really don't like the mental roller coaster for it just makes me think that I am not mature/ready enough to handle relationship.

I start feeling depressed whenever I'm reminded that my Bhutan trip is postponed. Then I cheer myself up by trying to plan for an alternative. However, my enthusiasm is so one-sided. Maybe he is busy with his work or maybe he didn't want to make empty promises or maybe its just that he is not interested in a trip with me. As you can see... I am thinking too much. Perhaps I should just let go of all this hope and I will be happier. Which I think is highly probable.

Let go of expectations! Let destiny brings me to wherever I shall be! Only then shall I be at peace internally.

Ok, all these emo-ing started with the difficulty in securing leave from my workplace. Got worsened when my manager took MC today while she warned against me taking MC last week. Talk about unfairness and double standards.

Anyway, this year my ex-colleague managed to see the sakura during Apr. Haiz... but with all this self-doubt and uncertainty, I am not sure if we can still get him to be the guide. See... I am thinking too much again. Aunt Agony, any advice for me?? Man... I am beginning to feel like some teenage girl plagued with emotional problems. Crap! I need some enlightenment...