A recent chat with a long time friend made me realise something. No matter how well someone understands a couple and the circumstances of their relationship, no one but the couple themselves can truly tell what is required to keep the relationship alive.
Sounds like a really cliched and duh statement. But does one really comprehend until they have figured it out for themselves?
Just think about all those people who turn to others for advice, or those people who give advice in return. All assuming that the "counsellor" knows their situation, personality, context of events, body language and words used in an exchange, and the "counsellor" assuming that they have all the required information, when in truth they are just extrapolating existing knowledge to the situation.
Does this mean that we should stop asking others for advice or stop giving advice? A question that begs a subjective answer.
Advice-giving is actually a huge industry. Just take a look at the "encouraging" divorce rates. If counselling was so effective then why are there still so many people getting divorced? Admittedly, that is a seriously one-dimensional take on the issue, but the point being, not all advices are good and applicable.
To my friends who pour their hearts out to me, i am honoured to be held in such high esteem, but truthfully, all i can do is hear you out, understand your sorrows, give a few suggestions which are not always helpful, and cipher out the conclusion you have already made for yourself among the conflicting emotions. In short, nothing at all.
Now isn't that strange?
Just a little clarification, when i say that i'm in the midst of my exams, i'm really saying "can you hold it in for a little while longer and i promise i'll get right back to you when i'm done". Selfish? Definitely.
P.S. Lai, it's called "Lai's Quest for Love Saga". It ain't over until you find the right one and get married. So hurray for episode 7!
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